Alllllll byyyyyy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyseeeeeeeelf

All right, I have a lot of things to get out and I want to do it eloquently, but let me get this first thing out real fast. FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!! I was walking past the dresser in this little Super 8 room while I was throwing my Qdoba wrapper away and then BAM! I smashed my head into this little shelf that just kind of juts out into the room. SHIT.

But back to business. I am sitting here in a crappy recliner with a warm Qdoba burrito sitting nicely in my belly, a giant bump on my head (no blood, thankfully), Baseball Tonight muted on the TV, Until June oozing through my speakers, and feeling a little lonely. Humans are weird. Today was weirder. Let me tell you how I got here.

I woke up and strung a racquet, went to the Pantry with my dad and my sister and ate a ton of food so I wouldn't want to eat later, packed up my shit and hit the road. I left Pueblo at noon and got to FoCo at about 2:30. This trip is already a lot different than any trip I've taken for tennis before.

I really like the whole team camraderie thing. I didn't think that it was going to be such a draw for me, but I really like being around the team, knowing that we are all out to do the same thing, there is always someone to talk to. It's less chore-like. Driving 160 miles just to play tennis seems like an absurd thing to do anyhow. I kind of get the sense of what it must be like to be a journeyman tennis player, some guy who can never get his rank past 600 in the world or something. You're just kind of out cruising around, seeing different parts of the world while playing tennis. That seems pretty idyllic, right? Well I guess it can be if you are winning all the time, but if you can't crack the top 500, you probably aren't winning all the time, you probably aren't making that much money so you probably aren't traveling with a coach and a little entourage the entire time. Roger Federer I am not. It really makes you lonely to lose your match and then sit back and watch people greeting each other, talking, watching matches, having a good time -- meanwhile you are just sitting there wishing you were still playing tennis. It makes you feel like, "Well, I'm not winning, so what the fuck am I doing here anyhow?"

And something else. I was sitting in my dad's car today while he was at the bank before we went to eat -- yes, that was important -- and I was looking down the street and realized that I could name every building that I could see down the street. It got me to thinking about towns and cities and moving on and people getting excited about leaving and crap like that. Now, understand this. I go to college in my hometown at a school four blocks from my house. I learned to drive my car in the same parking lots that I walk through to get to class. I still go to my brother's high school tennis matches at my old high school. I am relatively happy with my situation as it is right now. I am not burning under the collar to leave this instant because I know a good thing when I am sitting in its lap.

Still though, there is a part of me that is just really anxious to maybe live in a city that I don't know like the back of my hand. Like right now, I am learning Fort Collins. I know at least three ways to get to the tennis court complex that this tournament is being held at, but that's just how my mind works. It leads directly to tennis too, because the tournament today was a new experience. I know all about the summer tournaments in Pueblo. I have helped run most of them. I am as big as they are. I know who buys the balls, I know who makes the trophies, I know who will enter what divisions before they enter. I know the tournament directors, I work for them, and shit, I play in all of them. But up here, I only knew one of the other players, and that was a guy that I met two weeks ago. There are all of these other studly players with fancy bags and new shoes and nice haircuts, and I know that a lot of it is because I am in Fort Collins (not exactly Pueblo). In college tennis, we don't give a shit who the tournament director is or who the other coach is. We are playing for our coach and for our team and things like that, but in this case, I am just up here playing to get better, playing because I want to, and it's a weird feeling not knowing.

I really like going out to the park in Pueblo and walking into the clubhouse and saying hi to Ed and going out and hitting with him for an hour and passing by a few other people I know and talking to them. I am established. I like that. Still, there is something very sexy about not knowing the people, not knowing anyone. Personally, I find it to be an uncomfortable feeling because it makes me feel really small. I am nowhere as big as Fort Collins. That is the root of the issue. Pueblo only occasionally makes me feel small enough to need to do something to make myself feel bigger. But going outside of the city limits, going to this strange, affluent, college place changes it all.

ANYHOW. Fuck. If you're still with me, kudos. The actual match today was less than stellar. I had to play some pro from Longmont and I lost 2 and 0. The first set started out shaky and then I closed it to 4-2 and then he just beat the fucking shit out of me. I played 10 minutes of good tennis in there, and I need to find that and try to make it 20 minutes, and then 30 minutes and then maybe even a whole match. The guy WAS really solid, but he wasn't amazing. Good pace, good depth on all hit shots, really consistent, solid ass serve. Still though, I chunked a lot of volleys, missed a lot of groundies that I shouldn't have. He said to me as we were shaking hands, "I could tell you weren't on -- I wouldn't want to play you when you are. You've got great volleys, are you gonna be in Fort Collins much more this summer? Let's hit." I guess that's nice, but fuck, it would be nice to just climb a tree and beat someone.

Last thought, which kind of nullifies some of what I said earlier. I asked the guys at the tournament desk -- before I left to go see a couple friends (who promptly left the city) -- if they knew of any public parks or high school courts that I could check out tomorrow. I told them I was looking to hit some serves at least, kill some time -- best case scenario, I would find someone to play with. They gave me a map of the neighborhood and marked out a park with 6 courts. Then the tournament director, Tom, who emailed me like four times before I even signed up, gave me his phone number, told me that he lives nearby the park and that he would hit with me late tomorrow morning if I called him. I told him that it sounded like a great idea and that I would be calling him. So that's good. I just want to get a little touch on the ball tomorrow, get a little more feel for it before my two matches tomorrow night.

So anyhow, I might be back later, might not, depends on what's on TV I guess. Might do a little workout and then get a shower and try to sleep. We shall see. Sorry if this is gay. I'm bored.

Ideas??

I'm desperate for fun distractions at work. I am pretty sure that I've seen everything on the Internet. And I mean everything. Every video on youtube, every sports article in the world...everything. It's depressing.

Here's what we have to work with (we meaning Ryan and I here at the writing center): five aging Dell desktop computers hooked into a lackluster campus network; a few large desks; four rolling chairs; 10 stationary chairs; a telephone; some filing cabinets; a printer; two small office areas that are cordoned off from the main writing room area; four fake trees and two fake plants. That's about the size of it. If anyone has some suggestions for how we can entertain ourselves, or would like to contribute financially, please leave a comment with all of your personal information (credit card and PIN number, belly button size, etc.). It would be much appreciated.

Still here, more or less

I'm still around. Actually right now I'm at work, but it's so fucking boring that I have resorted to walking around the room in circles. It's really bad. But anyhow, I guess there are some things to talk about.

• The Paper Cup went well. Greg and I won consolation open doubles and I won one and lost one in singles. I lost to Beau from the team, and since he is a stud I'm really not too broken up about it.
• I'm playing a tournament in FoCo next week -- should be interesting. I don't really know where I am staying yet, but it will be the first time that I'm all alone, no team, no coach, no family, no nothing, just me and my matches.
• I have also decided that I am going to work a Nike Camp at Fountain Valley in CO Springs this July. I'm just doing two weeks of it instead of the four weeks I worked in Boulder last summer. Four weeks of camp is rough; two should be pretty manageable. The place looks amazing, and it IS a Nike Camp, so that means FREE CLOTHING!
• It's interesting how I even got that job. Every tennis job I've ever had has nothing to do with any sort of tennis skill or qualification -- it's just that I have known the right people or made the right connection at the right time. The camp director used to coach Colorado College's tennis team and I played against him last year and so when he spotted me at the courts a couple weeks ago he offered me the job. It's that simple.
• I am still in mourning about last night's game. Don't talk to me for a couple more days. And don't look at the ESPN soccernet headline. Christ.
• This must be one of the perks of being a professional athlete. How sick.
• I bet that Roddick would trade being on the cover of this magazine for a win over Monfils (he lost). That sucks...I don't know if the clay brings out the best in the rest of the world or the worst in American kids or if it's some mixture of the two. I'm going to do a Hubie Brown, second-person impression here, so bear with me. I mean look at Roddick: You've got THE serve, you've got a big forehand, you move well, you are coming to net with more success than before, you've got every reason to feel confident in your game, but then you go out and consistently lay eggs on the dirt. And now you're starting to feel like your performance is slipping when it comes to hard courts. That's a hard situation to dig yourself out of. (⁄ impression).

Anyhow, some guy just came in for help. I gotta get.

Editor's note: 5/24/07

I apologize for the grammar errors that appeared in this post. I was at work at even though I wasn't doing anything else, I was feeling harried. Actually, I'm not sorry. Nevermind.

50th post, and it's USTA league time

Sorry for the posting lapse. A lot has happened in the past week or so.

• The spring semester came to a close. Praise Jesus. Now only one month until I am in England, drinking a cider and checking out a foreign country. It is probably going to be the highlight of my life.
• The RMAC season ended. I made the RMAC All-Academic team too, whatever that's worth. Wish it had been for some sort of tennis-related skill thing.
• I've been sleeping in a bit and spending most of my days lounging.
• I'm starting not to do that so much.
• I caught a little cold. Start to get over that now.
• I have rediscovered the simple pleasure of the frisbee.
• The USTA league season kicked off last night. It was OK, but it reminded me why I hate the USTA. First of all, I was supposed to play 2 singles for my team -- a lineup of 1 and 2 singles and then three (3) doubles teams. My guy forfeited, for some reason. So I played with a high school kid while my team lost. Wah waaaaa...
• I am working the girls' 4A state tennis tournament this Thursday-Saturday, so that should be interesting. State tennis was always a strange thing for me, but by the end of high school, I felt like I was bigger than high school tennis, or that I could at least wrap my head around it. I will never be able to do that with college tennis.

Anyhow, back to the USTA league for a minute. This guy on our team, Rob, showed up last night with 6 mini-water bottles with him, no racquets, no bag, nothing. He was like "Hey man!! What's up!? I haven't played for about 11 months -- this is gonna be crazy!" I said, "Dang, let's get you warmed up!" We got on court and within 5 minutes he was hitting as well as I was. What a stud. If I took 11 months off from the sport, it would take me another month just to get back to where I was. This guy is amazing though. He was a state champ in high school but then never played in college. Had he kept it up, he would be even more amazing. It's crazy how some people work. Some people are just wired for the game. I wish I was like that, but whatever. I'm not complaining about what I have. I'm looking forward to playing more with him for sure though.

Decisions!

So I am hopefully going to England this summer. The trip is June 14-28, and I will hopefully be able to go to Wimbledon for a day. I will get 6 credit hours for school, which is amazing, but I have a problem. There is going to be this amazing concert the day that I would have to leave. Ahhhhhhhh! It is the concert that I have waited my whole life for too! John Mayer with Ben Folds opening for him. Holy shit! Whyyyyyyyyyyy!? The day that I leave!?

I already know what I'm going to do................................buy an international adapter for the iPod.

I can't pass on Wimbledon, and I can't resist the idea of leaving the US for a while. I guess I have a pretty nice life if this kind of thing is a decision that I have to make. Back to reality...

F the USTA

Dear USTA:

I would start out this letter by simply saying, "You suck!" but you probably already know that, so I won't. I would just like to let you know a few things about tennis.

Some people just want to go to the park and play tennis. Some people don't have enough money to pay 40 dollars for a one-year membership to your shitty organization, and surely do not want to part with their hard-earned scranch just for the right to have a piece of shit membership card that says so. Furthermore, your league system sucks, and I think you have some wacked out priorities about the sport in general. Is your goal to promote the sport or to make money? Hmmmmmm...me thinks it's the second one. No one goes through the USTA to do anything unless they live in a big city, and here in Colorado, when someone utters the forbidden phrase "CTA," they are usually met with a sideways glance and a hard snicker. USTA, you are a disgusting tool.

In case you were wondering, USTA, what this rant is all about...I will tell you. The other day, I tried to sign up for a men's 4.5 league that will start playing in May and go through the summer. I had to "self-rate" myself, because in your infinite wisdom, everyone must have a designated skill level. I was halfway through your little self-rating program when I started to realize that I must have mis-read one of the questions, and since there is no way to go back and re-answer a question, I decided to close the window and start over. Then your program locked me out and rated me as a 6.0! What the fuck! In case you have forgotten, POSUSTA, your system ranks players from 1.0 (what is this thing called a racquet!?) all the way up to 7.0 (OMG it feels great to win Wimbledon again!). Most people are in the 3.0 to 4.0 ranks, and playing in a 4.5 league stands as a pretty respectable degree of ability. But 6.0!? What? You bastards. Now I have to appeal my ranking at send it to your office and let your degenerates decide that I am, in fact, not a professional tennis player, but am instead a mildly talented human being.

USTA, in case you didn't notice, I hate you.

Sincerely,

Jamison Parker
(and the real person who wrote this)

****************************************************

Anyhow, there is some real news at the moment. The team is idle right now -- we had an invogorating five matches in four days over the past weekend, so we had a few days off and are enjoying the Easter weekend by doing absolutely nothing. It freaking snowed here today but will be 70 tomorrow...go figure. It's CO. Fuck it. We have a week of practice, two matches, a week of practice, and then the conference tournament. I hope we are all peaking at the right time.

This was a Davis Cup weekend, and it was solid action all around. The US won which was nice. JB played well, Roddick played well, the Bryan bros played well (in singles even too!), so it was a solid effort. Semis now.

I wanted to see the France-Russia singles matches so badly!! Safin is such a bad ass!! He was held out of the first singles rubbers but then comes back and saves the day. What a quote: "It was a pure accident," said Safin, who is 29-18 in the Davis Cup. "I have not been playing for a long time and won quite unexpectedly."

As has been the trend lately, I'm going to go back for another round of Ass Ranger with my homework before some Easter dinner. Stay calm today, and please don't send me any more text messages that say, "Happy Easter, He is risen!" If you do, you're going right up on the big board next to the USTA.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you...

Life has been insane!! Where to start?

We took a trip down to Silver City, New Mexico to play a match against WNMSU. It sucked. 22 hours in a van round-trip and we got rained out after about 90 mins of play. Mitch and I won in dubs and then I played a set of singles and the rains came. End of story. Good thing we didn't play ENMSU.

We have now had four matches in three days. It is draining. We played CC today and I felt much better after I was done playing than I did at any point during the day. Yesterday we had to play four times (singles and doubles...you get it) and man, tiiiired legs today. We made it with an 8-1 victory though. Oh and I was THIS close to some deer that ran through the Broadmoor today. Yeah. I wish I went to CC and got to play my matches at the freaking Broadmoor. Back to the public park for me...

Tomorrow we play Metro State and it will be difficult. Really difficult. Looking forward to it though.

And pro tennis...Novak Djokovic is sick! He reminds me of a guy around here: robotic type strokes and just all sorts of game. He wants it, too, much more so than a lot of people around that have shit tons of ability but don't have that killer instinct.

The one thing that I already knew but have learned all over again in college is that the game is all about being consistent. All you have to do is be confident that your shots are going to go in and then you can start figuring out how to beat people. It's pretty simple, really. But Djokovic...his match against Canas was a solid example of Consistency vs. Power + Consistency. Power and consistency won. It won't always. There are ways to beat it, but you have to be good enough to take that guy out of his comfort zone, and Canas was not going to wear out Djokovic.

And get off of Federer's back. He has lost twice in two weeks to a guy who is playing out of his gord. Canas is not afraid of anyone, especially now, and especially after beating Fed the first time...

And finally, I guess I should address my lengthy absence from the "blogosphere"...I dare you to not snicker when you say that word seriously. This past week was spring break, and I was doing my best to disappear. Basically I watched a lot of TV and played some tennis and made a few bad decisions that I could not afford to make during the regular school week. The week before that we took the trip to NM and I missed three days of school and work. Then this weekend and week we have 5 matches in four days. I used to have too much time to waste; I still do, except I just waste it more dramatically and without noticing.

I am supposed to pass along some other blogs that I read (it's an assignment) so here are a couple of pretty nice ones. Exhibit A, and Exhibit B. I wish I knew people like this in Pueblo.

On another note, the team made a little spring break trip up to Denver and took in a Nuggets game. They played like shit and lost at the end to the Sonics, but they made up for it by wasting the Sonics right back last night in Seattle. They need to figure their shit out and get a playoff push going so they can play with a little momentum.

There is lots more coming in the next few days; the ATP tour is getting into Davis Cup ties and the clay court season, and the team is getting ready to try to make some noise at the conference tournament in a couple of weeks...and oh yeah, LIVERPOOL is going to dominate...er, hopefully dominate, or win, or show up. Balls.

Now I must unfortunately be getting back to letting school kick my ass and tend to my sick dog...he's not really that sick, but he got a tooth removed today and needs some nursing.

Busy, busy day

So we got to the site last night at about 7:30. We waited around until we could warm up, and then we found out we couldn't. So we did line ups, introduced the teams (we were playing Truman State), and the doubles teams hit the court. I sat around and watched, ate a ham and cheese sandwich I bought from a gas station, and generally fought off the fogginess that had been plaguing me throughout the day.

I got onto the court at about 10:30 or so, maybe a little bit later, and holy hell. Lack of focus, lack of concentration, all around malaize, shittiness, whatever you want to call it...I played horrible. It was abysmal. I don't even want to think about it anymore so you'll just have to wonder. To make matters worse, Josh tore his ACL last night. He originally hurt it when he went snowboarding this weekend, but he finished the job last night. It was a really upsetting moment for everyone. Having the #3 player on the team go down indefinitely is just not what we needed to happen.

We got back to the hotel after 12:30 AM. I went straight into my room and flopped onto my bed and stayed there, unshowered, wet, cold, shoes on and everything until the morning. I slept off and on throughout the night and then slept some more on the van this morning on the way down to Emporia -- yeah, not much time to decompress. By the way, Days Inn, your continental breakfast can suck it. Get some real food.

We got to Emporia about 10 and it was frigid. The bank thermometer said 41 degrees, but the wind was blowing at a steady 30 mph and gusting up to 40. You do the math and figure out a windchill and leave it for me in the comments section. Actually, don't do that. It will just make me retroactively hypothermic.

So we warm up (lol), do lineups, and then get out for dubs. My partner had a meltdown during the match and started throwing things, complaining about everything, talking shit to the opponents...it was a bad moment. Singles was better, but in those conditions, everything is so difficult anyhow, it doesn't matter that much. It becomes an endurance contest of shittiness instead of a tennis skill competition. I lost 6-3 6-2 or something; it wasn't THAT bad...definitely better than what happened the night before.

We grubbed on some Planet Sub after that, and then went back to the hotel for an hour. It was just enough time to tease us with leisure and then we had to go play Washburn.

I am not linking to any of these schools simply for the reason that you can look them up if you want to. I am too tired and have a lot of stuff to get out tonight.

So anyhow, we go to play Washburn. We actually got to warm up this time, and I felt like I was hitting the ball pretty clean. It was a nice change from the sick conditions earlier. Dubs was...interesting. The guys we played just hit the PISS out of the ball. One of them was a short guy with a huge game and the other guy was a huge lefty with a huge lefty game. It was troubling. We lost like 8-1. Then after a while, I guess about 7:15 I got on court for my singles match. I was playing a short kid named Paulo. He was pretty solid, nice groundstrokes, some power from both sides, nice little spin serve, fast, just solid all around. I hit the ball really well in that match though, which was a REALLY nice change from my depressing adventure last night.

I finally started serving a little bit better too, but I couldn't quite pull anything off at the end. I was drained (I haven't played four matches in a day in a WHILE...since last spring I think). We went to Golden Corral for some dinner, and then I watched a little bit of the Nuggets' game with Greg (their struggles are a WHOLE different subject). We braved the cold and snow flurries to get him some Taco Bell, watched more of the game, then I took a shower and hung out in the room for a while.

Now I am sitting here on the shitty roll-away bed writing about all of this. We flipped coins the first night here to determine the order for getting banished to the roll-away. I hope it doesn't fold up on me tonight.

But anyhow, I am tired, just popped some NyQuil, and have to get up in 8 hours so we can go play again. I'm not sure what the plan will be after the match, but I am just glad that I finally have some momentum. I am still learning how to play this game, and it sucks when the learning curve is sometimes steeper than I can see. I have trouble wrapping my head around this game sometimes. This time lastnight I was absolutely miserable, and this time tonight I'm kicking it around on the Internet and relatively content. I hope I can play with some confidence tomorrow and end this trip on a high note. That's the plan, I guess. End confessional.

Love the midwest!!

Well after a 10-hour van ride (finally got a good seat), and stopping three times for gas and goodies and food, we finally got to Topeka. Apparently it started snowing in Colorado as soon as we left, so I knew what was coming. I watched a nice string of thunderstorms flashing all around us as we traversed Kansas, and then while we were sleeping it snowed. We have our first match tonight at 8 PM and were supposed to go practice at noon...unfortunately, since it's snowing, that probably won't be happening. We might go watch a different school's match at 11 just so we have something to do. But who knows. We might get blown away by a fresh tornado like part of Missouri did.

Interesting tidbit about the trip. Our van has a deadly spike coming through the back of one of the seats. Mitch cut his elbow on it a few times and then sliced his bag open yesterday. I told the school about it earlier in the week (since we took this van to the Academy) and they said they would fix it...obviously not.

I got lucky enough to get the kind of crappy room -- I am staying with two other guys and we are going to take turns sleeping on the roll-away bed. Hopefully it doesn't fold up on me while I'm sleeping tonight. It smells really weird in here too. Not sure why. I think it smells like feet, Kyle thinks it smells like a liter box, Mitch thinks it's a little bit fruity, like bad cologne, and Greg doesn't think it smells at all...

The worst part of the road trip is upon us now...we have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and we aren't playing until 8 PM tonight. It would be nice to get to practice in the low-altitude before we have to play tonight, but whatever happens I guess. I'm going to go watch Scrubs, maybe take a shower to kill some time, listen to the wind, play some PSP...something.

Final thought: The laptop is the ultimate comfort item on the road for me. It's perfect, because in theory, if you can acess the Internet, you can buy anything you forgot at home. I feel a little bit foolish sometimes because I have a lot of little tech toys I bring with me. There's the laptop, which is how I'm writing this, obviously; the PSP, the iPod, the digital camera, the cell phone. They're all little things though, and although I could easily live without them, Kansas becomes much better when you do have them.

As promised

I said I'd be back by Sunday, and I shall deliver. I am even feeling mellow enough to discuss what happened on Friday. But first, some news.

• Tommy Haas absolutely crushed Andy Roddick today. It wasn't pretty. I watched the whole match and Roddick looked how I feel out on court lately. I remember some of the numbers...Roddick's first serve percentage was like 22% for most of the match. Just won't win many matches like that.


• By the way, Haas didn't face a break point during the entire tournament. = amazing


• Venus Williams apparently won a tournament. That statement should tell you how much I care.


• This is some upsetting news. Joachim Johansson, Pim Pim, to some of you, had another shoulder surgery. He is always getting injured, and that sucks because he is amazing. I remember watch him play Agassi a few years ago at the US Open. He lost, but he hit like 47 aces in four sets. It was ridiculous.

I don't normally do this, but the trip and the delay calls for some personal explanation.

About Friday: I had class until noon, then I downed a delicious BBQ sandwich from a local sub shop. I fired up the TiVo and watched Liverpool beat down Barcelona (still pumped about that), and then at 3 I went up to school and we set out for the USAFA to play Weber State.

So we get to Springs and the traffic is terrible, nothing new...finally get to the Academy and find the proper field house. The facilities are AMAZING. I have some pics coming -- they are on my buddy's camera but I will get them soon. So we got there during the lowering of the colors and it was a very eerie experience. This weird bugle sound was warbling over the top of the hill and everyone was standing perfectly still facing the hill...nevermind.

We get inside and sat around for over an hour while UNC finished playing the Academy. We finally got a court to warm up on...7 guys, one court, cool... At 6 when our match was supposed to start, I go up and take a seat (I was playing singles, not doubles). There was some delay, and then when matches started, of course one match had to be tight and took about 80-90 minutes. Then our first four singles matches went on -- I was playing 6th that day.

Finally at 9 pm I got a court. I hadn't eaten a meal since noon; my only bio fuel was a soggy PBJ that I had put in my bag. The courts were Rebound Ace, and the elevation was like 7000 feet, so it was really awkward. The ball was all over the place.

That's one of the things I have come to realize: The great players at this level will make that adjustment in 20 minutes and have a competitive match. Me -- I will take about 2 sets to get to feeling like I know what the ball is going to do and then the match is over and I'm headed back to Pueblo and my shitty hardcourts and my 4000 some feet. I wish I could adjust faster.

Anyhow, long story short, we got back to Pueblo starving and defeated so we headed to Buffalo Wild Wings for some comfort food. Our wings took over an hour to prepare, apparently, but when they got there, oh man...delciousness times TEN. I took some people home, it started to snow, the wind started to blow, I got to bed at 2, I got up at 7 and had to work at a conference at school all day. It was amazing. Hope that explains the delay.

We are going to Kansas on Wednesday, so I will be doing a Road Trip feature type thing. I'm also going to try to invest in a new camera before then, so be prepared for some amazing footage.

PERFECT

Yesterday and then again today the weather finally cooperated, and by that I mean the mercury rose to within exactly one degree of a little number I like to call BEAUTIFUL. It was amazing. I walked to the courts yesterday and hit for 90 minutes and then walked home; it was stunning. Today we practiced for two hours at the park and it was wonderful. Actually, it was great until coach made us run a couple of parks and thanks to the excretory emergency I was forced to deal with at that time, there was a whole other set of problems to deal with. Aaaaanyhow.

Scotland's own Andy Murray took down Andy Roddick and Ivo Karlovic in quick succession this weekend. That's a pretty impressive pair of servers to beat back to back. Karlovic does this a few times a year; it will be interesting to see if he can stick around this time. I mean, he's 6'10'', there is no reason that he shouldn't just pulverize anyone who comes on court with him. You don't even need to be able to play that well past serving if you hit 20 aces a match. That's more aces than I've hit this year. And last year.

This cat took down Robbie Ginepri in 3 sets in Memphis. It's too bad because I like Robbie. And also because that guy is two years younger than me. You can check out the Memphis tournament website, but I should warn you that it sucks ass.

Back to Scotland for a minute. Is this an amazing t-shirt or am I retarded? I bought it, so I hope I'm not retarded. Of course, I won't wear it tucked into a kilt that goes up to my nipples, so I will at least have that going for me. I also bought an amazing Scottish flag bandana a while back that I am going to sport at a few matches this season. The whole soccer thing and a little bit of tennis and a lot of wanting to bring some European strangeness to my house has led me to buying cool stuff on ebay. I will probably buy a new sibling on there eventually.

I guess this is kind of a cool trophy. Whatever, Mauresmo is a man, I bet she doesn't enjoy the diamonds too much. Or maybe she does. I make it a point to ignore her. Just another irrational tennis bias, I suppose.

By the way, happy belated Valentine's Day to you people. I didn't think to say anything earlier because it's not a real holiday (what do I know though? I am single and ready to mingle). I'll be getting back to the homework now...

No courts...no problem...jokin!

I should be studying for my Business Communications test right now, but in a few words I can accurately sum up my opinion of that class: F that shit.

That is also my opinion of the weather, which continues to be cold and depressing. Yesterday it was 9 or some ridiculous temperature like that. Today it was a little bit warmer (warmer, lol...) but it snowed most of the day. What snow is still on the ground is light and flaky, but it is snow nonetheless.

This brings me to the match update, and really the week so far.

• Monday: Practiced for one hour in 38 degree weather. It was amazing. </sarcasm>
• Tuesday: I cannot tell a lie. I didn't do anything. My legs hurt, it was about 10 degrees outside...yeah.
• Today: Worked on a stationary bike for 30 mins at school, did some core stuff, flexibility work...what? Yep. Futile.
• Thursday: We're going to squegee some tennis courts tomorrow in the hope that we can play Friday. This leads us to...
• Friday: The forecast calls for 48 degrees and 40 mph winds. The coach's solution was to move the match up two hours, when it is just as windy but much colder. 12:30 is the start time, but I'm hoping I get a phone call at about 10 telling me to forget it. It's one of those things where you really hope things work out, but you know they probably won't, so avoiding the whole situation would just make life easier.
• This all reminds me of a short exchange between me and Ricardo, the kid from Mexico on our team. He taps me on my shoulder in lab on Monday and says, "James, what will the weather be like this week? Will we get to practice?" I said, "Ah man I dunno, it's only supposed to be like 26 tomorrow." He gave me a confused look and said, "Twenty-six, umm, I don't know - what is that in Celsius?" I said, "That's like -2 degrees," and he just sat back and said, "Fawwwwwwwwwk."
• I looked up the Puebla, Mexico forecast yesterday, and depite being over 7000 feet in elevation, the high for Tuesday was 70 degrees and the low was 58. Fahrenheit. LOVE IT

If you read this and wonder, "Well, dumbass, just go play indoors!" then I commend you for your sense of logic. Then I would remind you that Pueblo is a community that really possesses no logic. We have some indoor courts...at the Pueblo Country Club. Private party. Then there were some indoor courts at the state fair grounds, but as I think I mentioned earlier, they suck, and actually now they're shut down for the rest of the month. Our school doesn't have any tennis courts, indoor OR outdoor, so we are basically screwed if the weather keeps up its freezing ways.

Anyhow, there is some real news to attend to.

Mardy Fish is still playing good tennis. Andy Murray won in spite of himself. This was at the SAP Open...an indoor tournament! Gasp! Apparently Safin won as well.

• It's nice to see Guga still being a bad ass. I will always root for a shaggy Brazilian. Look at that guy, it looks like he just walked up to the court and grabbed some random guy's racquet and started throwing down. What a man.

In other sports news, I find this to be a little bit funny. 18 games!! I feel so bad for Paul Pierce. The Celtics are tanking the shit out of their season to get a shot at Oden or Durant. Also, how old do you think this guy is??

Also, while I am loving the fact that Carmelo is averaging 30.8 ppg, 6.0 rebounds and 4.4 assists, I am not pleased that they lost to the T-Wolves tonight. I only put that on here because it's fresh in my mind. And because I wanted to. You get it. I also love this even though it's a little old...I was right in front of him when it happened, it was sick, and I wanted to put it up.

Nothing happening

Ben Kweller is telling me that nothing's going on, and sadly, that's how the tennis world is right now. The ATP is quiet for now because Davis Cup is about to start, and unlike other sports, no one is doing anything completely retarded to distract from the action. Is that really necessary?

I hope the Nuggets can begin to pull their heads out of their asses. Iverson is playing tonight (just checked) so that's good. Now Melo and AI can begin to dominate. And thank Scotty Crowe (by way of John Mayer) for this, and I guess thank Allen Iverson too, because it's just funny:

Now you can see what I was talking about

I haven't stopped thinking about the Achilles comparison (see previous post), so now I want you to see what I was talking about. Here it is:

And then because it is newsworthy, Xavier Malisse battled the elements and came back from being a set down on the second day of play to beat James Blake . Disappointing for me, to be sure, but that's a solid win for Malisse.


The weather has finally warmed up here too. In fact it was a glorious day to live in Colorado. I wanted to play outside but we had practice indoors still, but it was nice to go outside all sweaty and bask in the glow of the sun instead of sprinting to a freezing car in the kind of cold that makes it feel like the inside of your nose is falling out. I hope it stays.

Footwork - kind of important

So I was watching the movie Troy tonight, and in the midst of Brad Pitt kicking Hector's ass, I made a comparison that only I could make: Achilles had amazing footwork. Roger Federer has sick strokes, and Achilles could use a sword and throw the damn spear like no body's business, but how amazing must their footwork be to be able to dictate like they do (or did) in all of their matches and duels and stuff? I have been really working hard on my footwork lately when I've been playing because I have realized two things: it is without question the most important aspect of tennis, and I suck at it. I have been hitting so many balls while leaning back and away from the ball that I have been driving myself mad. So the new comparison is this: could Achilles beat anyone down if he was striking and leaning back at the same time? HELL no.

Watch this video, but when you do so, don't watch any of the strokes. I challenge you to just watch Federer's footwork. Don't look at the strokes, don't watch Hewitt...just look at Federer's feet. I know it's kind of an older clip (from the 2004 TMC), but the audio is really keen at court level. Just keep an eye on Fed and listen. Watch how he never stops moving, the little steps he takes to set up the shot, how he might be a foot and a half behind the baseline but is always moving forward to hit the ball and then steps inside the baseline when he gets a ball he wants to hit. That is why he's number 1 in the world. And watch Troy too, it's not a bad movie.

Jesse Levine - freshman sensation, but wait, he's a pro...

If you are a somewhat serious follower of the game of tennis, you know that most good (professional) tennis players start playing when they are quite young. Most of the guys on my team started when they were anywhere from 7 to 12 years old. I started playing my freshman year of high school. I have learned that I am somewhat of a rarity; I wish I had started playing when I was 6 though so I could be good. But for the sake of making a little rant, let's think back to when Rafael Nadal started playing pro tournaments at age 16. Mario Ancic was about that age when he first started playing pro and beating people too. But it's always easy to dismiss that and be like "Bah, he's foreign, they have a different system, he can just train a lot and developed fast and plays tennis...whatever." Well, it changes when you put it in persepctive. This guy, who doesn't even have an official bio, is tearing up a pro tournament in Delray Beach, where I'm quite sure it isn't snowing. It's crazy to me because he's not even as old as I am, and I'm a sophomore in college. He is a freshman at the U of Florida, and will be one singles on their team this fall.

I was barely ready to play D II college tennis as a 18-19 year old kid...meanwhile there are 18 year old bad asses serving up losses to guys who have been on tour for 8 or 9 years? What? That's insane. Let me put it this way. If I were to go play a full match against the number one player on our team, I would probably lose like 6-1 6-1, maybe even 0 and 0, but I'm being optimistic. Either way, he would beat the crap out of me. He is from Puebla, Mexico and has been playing since he was 9. He's a stud. Anyhow, he played a couple of Futures events (a good comparison would be like the double A affiliate of a baseball team, maybe even a little lower) and he got nailed. Never made it out of the first round I guess. So that means that there are people way better than him but can't make it in the Challenger events (AAA baseball), the real minor leagues, and those are the guys who are still waiting to make it on the real tour. How good must Federer be then?

My coach's son is a tennis pro, and he played on the tour for a little bit. Mostly just challengers. He topped out around #1300 in the world, and he is AMAZING. If Federer can tool anyone in the top 15 without much trouble, and if someone in the top 15 can tool anyone in the top 100 without much trouble on a regular basis, and the #1300 guy is SICK, how does that all work!?

I saw John Elway!!

So the title pretty much says it all. Or at least I should not have to explain that to anyone for them to understand how significant it it (and if you do need an explanation, I am earnestly sorry). It was at the Nuggets game this past Saturday. We were down by 8 or 9 in the last two minutes of the game, and unlike so many of his mythical football performances, this time Mr. Elway apparently took the opportunity to say "ha ha ha, suckers..." and leave. Champ Bailey, defensive back extraordinaire walked past first with his two little kids and exited down the tunnel about 20 feet in front of us, and then a feeling of shock and disbelief crept over our part of the arena as John and his daughter approached. For about two seconds (a car crash two seconds), no one said anything, and then everyone erupted in applause and stood up cheering. How insane is that!? What must that be like, to be John Elway, to be met with maddening applause and cheers everytime you go somewhere. The ordinary experiences, the buying coffee and things like that probably get annoying, but I would imagine that being cheered at the Pepsi Center must be pretty intense. He still has an official website even! How many retired NFL quarterbacks still have an authentic website? The fame, the love, it's insane. Oh well, I'll just ask Peter Bodo what that's like. I'm sure he knows...

Peter Bodo - how do I get your job?

Peter Bodo, if that is indeed your real name, how can I be you? It's not the gently wrinkled, jolly expression that captured me. It's not even the passable tennis writing, or the casualness with which you name drop the big guys:

"A moment later, the door to the locker room opened and out strolled Roger. As he passed by us, he called out, "Is that so Larry?" He was laughing. He kept right on going, around the corner, to do God knows what end (collecting his 11th Grand Slam title, thereby saving a trip to Paris?)."

Whatever, man, that's cool I guess...but seriously, how do I get your job? Let's take a look at your bio:

Pete was born in Austria to Hungarian parents and emigrated to the U.S. at age 4, in 1953. He grew up in New York and suburban New Jersey and attended Clifton (N.J.) High School and Seton Hall University, where he was an English major. He learned tennis as a youth, played a club-level game, and taught the sport occasionally while in college. Pete has covered every major tennis tournament multiple times, and gone on assignment for TENNIS to locales such as Beijing, China, Monte Carlo, Ecuador, Moscow, Hawaii, and Australia [...] He’s also become TENNIS’ unofficial representative in the media and other public forums.

But now you and I are on the same page. We're doing the same thing: blogging about tennis! What an occupation! Except you get money and probably babes for it. I've got neither. What gives? Our back stories are practically the same! I could be you. We went to public high schools, public universities, majored in English, both played some tennis, except there I've even got you beat. But you get the fancy job and the big assignments. You get to listen to Roger (or R-Fed, as a friend so cleverly dubbed him) talk smack in the hallway after he demolishes the competition. How did this happen? Call me, Pete, and we'll talk over beers. I'm up and coming. You've got connections. Let's get some sort of internship type deal working, or maybe you can just hand the keys over to me in a year or so. I'm down for whatever. If you don't think this will work -- well, I'm coming for you. Watch out either way.

Mary Carillo!!

This is a little late but funny nonetheless.

Mary Carillo. Do I really need to say anything else? If I was her, I would now tell a story that had nothing to do with the tennis match I was calling. But I won't. However, I will say that I could do commentary for tennis matches better than she can. Then again, anyone with even a passing knowledge of the sport and some common sense could do a better job. I like this though. If you're too lazy to click that, just know that she had somewhat of a breakdown in a recent match. She started saying all kinds of off the wall crap and may have in fact dropped a few swear words into the broadcast. For the record, I was channel surfing and did not hear her drop an F-bomb, but when I turned the tv back to the match I clearly remember hearing "I'm assuming I'm going to be fired after this match..." which was not meant to be heard by anyone other than her co-commentator. I also remember her babbling on about how she is "Dick Enberg on training wheels" (as if that's a good thing!) during a crucial point in the decisive third set of the Williams-Peer QF match. And even worse, I remember Carillo's comment that Shahar Peer was attempting to be "without peer" (pronounced 'pare'). She actually made so many ridiculous comments in that match that she got banned from the Roddick-Fish match. I just found that out, but it's worth noting on here because it is hilarious...to me at least. Ahhhhh whatever