Dear England

Dear England:

When I gently invade your shores in three weeks, I promise to do a few things, and I promise NOT to do a few more. I will pack light, and by that I mean I will take a backpack with clothing and a small day bag to pack my essential shit in. That's it. I am going for the simple lifestyle when I'm with you. You and I will be like some weird vegan couple on a honeymoon. The simple life, you might say. I will buy some laundry detergent so I can occassionally wash my clothes, and then I'll give it to someone else when I leave. I will buy some trinkets for my friends and family and I will mail them home the next day. I will not overencumber myself, even for a little bit.

I promise not to wear anything resembling an American flag or promote anything that has to do with the American lifestyle while I am in your country. I hate people who wear "God bless America" shirts anyhow, and I'm FROM America. I will try to blend in -- I once told my brother, "Act like you've been there before, and then after the first time, you have, so you're fine." That's not to say that I won't be in awe, because I surely will be. But I won't go all giddy at the mention of Trafalgar Square, and I won't blow a load in my pants the first time I get on the tube. Don't get me wrong. I will have my camera with me at all times. I hope I can take some quality photos too instead of getting too wrapped up in myself and expending shitty shots on the usual suspects. I want to do something special with my camera, and if my mind allows me, I will try. That's all I can promise you, dear, I will try.

And when it comes to people, I will attempt to do as the locals do, but I will find that blend of touristy imitation and being a douche. Because I am the only guy in my group of 14, I will be staying with some other travelers or residents or whatever while I am in your country. I promise, and I really mean this England, I will not be an asshole. Polite, courteous, maybe a little funny funny, but not a dick. I promise to abstain from all assholery while I am in your country. We have a president for that. England, I think what I'm trying to say is that I am going to try to be as un-American as possible. That doesn't mean I'm going to start using words like "lad" and "cheers" and assume a crappy accent, but I think you understand. I am going to do my best. I hope you like it.

Much love,

Jamers