I know I know, it's a tennis blog...

But SERIOUSLY, who can resist the EPL? MLS? SPL? Tired of the acronyms? The beautiful game? OK I'm done. This summer when I was in Boulder my friends got me really into the World Cup, and we played a lot of soccer when we weren't working (I was working at a Nike tennis camp). I was intrigued. I did what anyone would do who wanted to learn more about soccer in the laziest way possible...I bought Fifa 06 for the xbox, and then now with the 360 I got the new Fifa 07 and I can't stop playing it. All of my friends in high school and some in college now play soccer, and I was always an honorary "soccer boy," even though I never knew anything about it. That said, I love it now. I wish I didn't suck at it. It's an addiction. Watch a game and you'll find out how wrapped up you can get in it. It's starting to take over, though. I find myself juggling tennis balls with my feet at pratice, chesting balls to the ground when people hit them to me, planning my hw sessions around my next game of Fifa...it's getting out of hand. So in the spirit of that, I want you to watch this, because Steven Gerrard is God, and Liverpool is the only football club that matters. That's really all you need to know, because it's pretty much all I know, but I have been told by several reliable sources that I am 100% correct.


And if you absolutely need more tennis, check this one out - it seems as if the Williams sisters are putting fame to good use. For the record, I would be doing this all the time if I was a bad ass athlete. But I'm glad they're doing it. I might have to re-consider my anti-Williams stance if they keep surprising me by winning grand slams and being decent human beings.

Jesse Levine - freshman sensation, but wait, he's a pro...

If you are a somewhat serious follower of the game of tennis, you know that most good (professional) tennis players start playing when they are quite young. Most of the guys on my team started when they were anywhere from 7 to 12 years old. I started playing my freshman year of high school. I have learned that I am somewhat of a rarity; I wish I had started playing when I was 6 though so I could be good. But for the sake of making a little rant, let's think back to when Rafael Nadal started playing pro tournaments at age 16. Mario Ancic was about that age when he first started playing pro and beating people too. But it's always easy to dismiss that and be like "Bah, he's foreign, they have a different system, he can just train a lot and developed fast and plays tennis...whatever." Well, it changes when you put it in persepctive. This guy, who doesn't even have an official bio, is tearing up a pro tournament in Delray Beach, where I'm quite sure it isn't snowing. It's crazy to me because he's not even as old as I am, and I'm a sophomore in college. He is a freshman at the U of Florida, and will be one singles on their team this fall.

I was barely ready to play D II college tennis as a 18-19 year old kid...meanwhile there are 18 year old bad asses serving up losses to guys who have been on tour for 8 or 9 years? What? That's insane. Let me put it this way. If I were to go play a full match against the number one player on our team, I would probably lose like 6-1 6-1, maybe even 0 and 0, but I'm being optimistic. Either way, he would beat the crap out of me. He is from Puebla, Mexico and has been playing since he was 9. He's a stud. Anyhow, he played a couple of Futures events (a good comparison would be like the double A affiliate of a baseball team, maybe even a little lower) and he got nailed. Never made it out of the first round I guess. So that means that there are people way better than him but can't make it in the Challenger events (AAA baseball), the real minor leagues, and those are the guys who are still waiting to make it on the real tour. How good must Federer be then?

My coach's son is a tennis pro, and he played on the tour for a little bit. Mostly just challengers. He topped out around #1300 in the world, and he is AMAZING. If Federer can tool anyone in the top 15 without much trouble, and if someone in the top 15 can tool anyone in the top 100 without much trouble on a regular basis, and the #1300 guy is SICK, how does that all work!?

Guga lives!

Gustavo Kuerten: shaggy Brazilian, surfer, clothing designer, bad ass tennis player. What a stud. He's back, by the way, which is why I'm writing about him. He only played one match on tour last year because he had some hip surgeries and other problems (contributing to his stellar ranking of #1082), but he's back playing at least. He has been one of the most charismatic characters out there, and he's always fun at the French; regardless, it will be months before he is anywhere close to normal again. I hope he gets healthy soon though and can make a little run. I don't know how much more we should expect from him since he's getting up there, but good luck to him.

And then since it's a slow day, here is something for you that I have been drooling over

I saw John Elway!!

So the title pretty much says it all. Or at least I should not have to explain that to anyone for them to understand how significant it it (and if you do need an explanation, I am earnestly sorry). It was at the Nuggets game this past Saturday. We were down by 8 or 9 in the last two minutes of the game, and unlike so many of his mythical football performances, this time Mr. Elway apparently took the opportunity to say "ha ha ha, suckers..." and leave. Champ Bailey, defensive back extraordinaire walked past first with his two little kids and exited down the tunnel about 20 feet in front of us, and then a feeling of shock and disbelief crept over our part of the arena as John and his daughter approached. For about two seconds (a car crash two seconds), no one said anything, and then everyone erupted in applause and stood up cheering. How insane is that!? What must that be like, to be John Elway, to be met with maddening applause and cheers everytime you go somewhere. The ordinary experiences, the buying coffee and things like that probably get annoying, but I would imagine that being cheered at the Pepsi Center must be pretty intense. He still has an official website even! How many retired NFL quarterbacks still have an authentic website? The fame, the love, it's insane. Oh well, I'll just ask Peter Bodo what that's like. I'm sure he knows...

Peter Bodo - how do I get your job?

Peter Bodo, if that is indeed your real name, how can I be you? It's not the gently wrinkled, jolly expression that captured me. It's not even the passable tennis writing, or the casualness with which you name drop the big guys:

"A moment later, the door to the locker room opened and out strolled Roger. As he passed by us, he called out, "Is that so Larry?" He was laughing. He kept right on going, around the corner, to do God knows what end (collecting his 11th Grand Slam title, thereby saving a trip to Paris?)."

Whatever, man, that's cool I guess...but seriously, how do I get your job? Let's take a look at your bio:

Pete was born in Austria to Hungarian parents and emigrated to the U.S. at age 4, in 1953. He grew up in New York and suburban New Jersey and attended Clifton (N.J.) High School and Seton Hall University, where he was an English major. He learned tennis as a youth, played a club-level game, and taught the sport occasionally while in college. Pete has covered every major tennis tournament multiple times, and gone on assignment for TENNIS to locales such as Beijing, China, Monte Carlo, Ecuador, Moscow, Hawaii, and Australia [...] He’s also become TENNIS’ unofficial representative in the media and other public forums.

But now you and I are on the same page. We're doing the same thing: blogging about tennis! What an occupation! Except you get money and probably babes for it. I've got neither. What gives? Our back stories are practically the same! I could be you. We went to public high schools, public universities, majored in English, both played some tennis, except there I've even got you beat. But you get the fancy job and the big assignments. You get to listen to Roger (or R-Fed, as a friend so cleverly dubbed him) talk smack in the hallway after he demolishes the competition. How did this happen? Call me, Pete, and we'll talk over beers. I'm up and coming. You've got connections. Let's get some sort of internship type deal working, or maybe you can just hand the keys over to me in a year or so. I'm down for whatever. If you don't think this will work -- well, I'm coming for you. Watch out either way.

Federer - what can you say!?

I apologize to my legions of fans all across the world about not updating for a couple of days. I'm sure you missed it. Ahem. Anyhow, I have been fighting school and weather (damn you, Colorado) and then yesterday I was in Denver for a Nuggets game. They lost, so that was a bummer, but I got back in time to watch the final, and what a performance. I'm not even going to say anything about Federer because seriously, what else could I say? If Gonzo, playing the way he was playing, couldn't beat Federer, then there was no one else in the world who was going to beat him last night. Roddick said something earlier about Federer not widening the gap...ho k... He has now won 3 grand slams 3 times. Think about that. That's a piss load. Out of the first 16 grand slams he played, he got to the QF twice and that was it. Out of the next like 15, he's won 10. Holy crap!

And Serena. I must admit, it was ballsy as hell to come back and win the entire tournament and demolish Sharapova in the process. Good for her I guess. But never again.

So now we will see what the rest of the tennis world has to offer. It's been an amazing start to the season. We've had Mary Carillo, Serena Williams, Federer, Hurricane Fena, extreme heat, bush fires, and that's all just in Australia. One thing, though, is clear after this first grand slam. It's Roger Federer's universe; everyone else is just trying to get a game or two.

Mary Carillo!!

This is a little late but funny nonetheless.

Mary Carillo. Do I really need to say anything else? If I was her, I would now tell a story that had nothing to do with the tennis match I was calling. But I won't. However, I will say that I could do commentary for tennis matches better than she can. Then again, anyone with even a passing knowledge of the sport and some common sense could do a better job. I like this though. If you're too lazy to click that, just know that she had somewhat of a breakdown in a recent match. She started saying all kinds of off the wall crap and may have in fact dropped a few swear words into the broadcast. For the record, I was channel surfing and did not hear her drop an F-bomb, but when I turned the tv back to the match I clearly remember hearing "I'm assuming I'm going to be fired after this match..." which was not meant to be heard by anyone other than her co-commentator. I also remember her babbling on about how she is "Dick Enberg on training wheels" (as if that's a good thing!) during a crucial point in the decisive third set of the Williams-Peer QF match. And even worse, I remember Carillo's comment that Shahar Peer was attempting to be "without peer" (pronounced 'pare'). She actually made so many ridiculous comments in that match that she got banned from the Roddick-Fish match. I just found that out, but it's worth noting on here because it is hilarious...to me at least. Ahhhhh whatever

Federer ROLLLLLLS

I wasn't around yesterday, but I do have plenty of match updates, so let's just get to it.

• Federer just beat the hell out of Roddick. 6-4, 6-0. 6-2 was the score, which is indeed a tremendous beat down. He outplayed, outhit, and generally outclassed Andy, which is no real surprise. I noticed that Roddick mentioned something about Federer "not widening the gap" between himself and other players recently, which I'm sure Federer saw and said "Oh reeeaallly..."




• Gonzo...what!? He DOMINATED Nadal like I haven't seen before. He hit 41 winners to 14 for Nadal. He's got 76 aces in the tournament!? He's going to roll all over Haas and at least take a set from Fed.




• No one has beaten Serena...yet. Sharapova had better pull through for me. I'm going to be upset if Williams manages to come through with a victory. Although I guess it would be a sweet moment for overweight athletes everywhere.




• And a quick quip from Serena: "I'm like a chameleon. I can kind of change and get my game going to whatever the situation is." Ho k...if you say so. I hope she gets blown off the court. I guess if "changing your game" means getting let off the hook by nervous opponents match after match, then yes, you can adapt very well. If Vaidisova can win that set point at 5-4 in the first, you'd be doneski right now and complaining about the conditions. Whatever.




• Also, Kim Clisters is retiring after this season, for those of you that didn't know. How crazy is that? 23 years old and just deciding to call it a career? Don't count on a comeback a la Martina Hingis either. I guess she just figured to hell with all the injuries and the training; just get married and chill for a while before figuring out how to spend her millions for the rest of her life. Tip of the cap to her then; wish I could do that.

And now for the beat down...

I called it 3-0 into the first set - Roddick slapped his old roomie around 6-2, 6-2, 6-2. That's impressive. Part of me wants to say, "Well, it was Mardy Fish..." but a 2, 2, and 2 assault is what it is. He has to play Federer now, so we'll see how far he has come. They will both be amped up for it. Everyone is making such a big deal out of this match, but no one is going beyond the typical dialogue of "Well Roddick is playing better but Federer is Federer." I can. Roddick is confident and playing well, that's for sure. He also thinks he can beat Federer. Some of the matches he has gone into against Federer in the past, I'm sure he went in and said "Uhh...shit. What do I do!?" Now he has a little bit of an idea of how to play him. He wants to be aggressive, but he has started to learn that "being agressive" means more than "hitting hard." He's being creative, mixing up his approaches; he's volleying much better than I've seen him before. His serve has always been there. It has always been the biggest strength of his game, and if he holds serve every time and can focus enough to get a break here and there, he could do it. That said, I still think he will lose.

Gonzo and Nadal are going to go at it in a little while; they will need new balls every 6 points.

My hope is that Sharapova can beat down Williams in the final...if she gets that far. Serena has fought off some big challenges, but I'm not sure she can beat Vaidisova though, who is a hottie.

Also, does anyone else got a little annoyed by the constant conversation of "OMG!! Americans crashed out in the quarter-finals!! Why!?" Mary Carillo and friends are soooooo concerned that there be an American in every final and a loaf of white bread in every winner's cup. Damn. That's why I don't care if Federer wins.

Davydenko and Haas are going to grind it out this afternoon. I look for a Haas win either in straights or four sets. The Russian is solid, but I don't think he has the firepower to take Haas off his game.

And a final thought for now: I know that I will look silly if Roddick beats Federer. But with Federer's routine tooling of Robredo fresh in mind, I just don't think Roddick can do it. Now I kind of hope I'm wrong. Let's watch.

nooooooo, and yesssssss

I was literally points away from nirvana, as Shahar Peer came this close to slaying Serena. But no. Didn't happen. Too bad. Roddick is up 3-0 on Fish right now and will probably win in straights. I'm calling it now.

Now for the good news. I think all I really need to do is show you this score to realize that yes, the AI-Melo combo is not only going to work, but it's going to be amazing. That is all.

oh well...

So this was disappointing. Not really too happy about that. I didn't watch the match, but I do know that Gonzo is a stud. He hits the piss out of the ball, big strokes from both sides, nice serve; he is a guy that will give anyone problems. Apparently, he just overpowered Blake, which is not easy to do at all. Trust me, there will be some banging with him and Nadal in the quarters. That would have been huge for Blake to make the QF at somewhere not named Flushing Meadows, or BJKNTC or whatever it is now.

And speaking of Nadal...the Murray match was amazing, I guess, since I haven't seen that either. This school schedule and practice and what not has been cutting into my couch time, so I haven't seen much tennis in the past two days. Except, of course, for my own tennis. So clever. Moving on.

Really looking forward to seeing this guy in the QFs. That will be an interesting match, although I think Roddick may pancake him. Hopefully it is competitive.

Serena Williams just keeps winning, much to my chagrin. Hopefully someone knocks her off soon. As long as she doesn't bring back the stare. In that case I will go to Australia myself and beat her down.

I'm off now to watch Carmelo Anthony dominate, hopefully. It may be a good evening to be a Nuggets fan, or it may not, in which case I won't be back tonight. Also, as a side note, I love how KG got suspended for 1 game for throwing a punch and hitting Antonio McDyess with a basketball but 1/5 of the Nuggets got suspended for various (and extraordinary) lengths for what they did. I'm not defending Melo, just saying this...I'm coming for you, David Stern!! Tool!

believe the hype! i guess

Remember the "mojo" commercials that American Express threw together after Roddick started bombing out at every tournament he played? He was predictable - a big serve, some groundies, no volleys, nothing special beyond the power (which has always been there). Well, apparently Roddick is starting to figure out how to play tennis. I said I wanted Safin to beat him down a little bit, and he did...for a set. Roddick played well though! He was impressive in spots, dominant in others, and although Safin snuck out a set, Roddick deserved to win. His serve was overpowering, his groundstrokes were authoritative, and he was more creative with his approaches and volleys than I have ever seen him. It was intriguing. I was pretty glad that Safin got his outburst in too.

Nadal went from looking shabby to spectacular, which is good news for him and bad news for Andy Murray, he has to play him next. Murray is weird; he mopes around like a 12 year old on the court and yells at Brad Gilbert and never really looks like he's into the match at all, but he wins. He doesn't look like he should be a professional athlete of any kind at first, and he seems to be a little off the pace of play, but he's freaking good for some reason. That will be a nice little match though.

James Blake nailed Robbie Ginepri in straights today too. Blake is my favorite player on tour right now, so I was pleased with that. It's too bad that he had to dispose of Ginepri so early on though. I hope he gets back on track this year.

Back to Roddick for a minute though. I thought his match with Ancic might be even more difficult than the Safin match, because Safin is going to attack or miss, but Ancic is a little more pesky. He was. It's nice to see Mardy Fish in the QF at a grand slam now too. Actually it's just nice to see him anywhere. I remember back in 2003 when he had match points on Roddick in Cincinati but couldn't finish it. Roddick went on to win the Open and Fish has fizzled in the meantime. But that will be a fun match too.

Most pleasant upset of the day: I have actually never met anyone who enjoys Amelie Mauresmo. If you like her and you're reading this, my apologies. But since no one is reading this anyhow I can say what I want. I hope Serena Williams loses later today too. There are probably more arrogant and spoiled tennis players out there in the world, and there are certainly athletes who behave much worse (one Terrell Owens springs to mind) but there is something about the Williams sisters that just makes me irritated. It might have been the "Serena stare" from a few years ago (OMG!! I'm so intimidated!!) or it could be the abysmal attempts at making tennis and "fashion" meet halfway, but I am never upset to see them upset. BUT since their matches will always be featured on American television, I guess I'll have to live with it.

You'll have to forgive me for not updating on the entire Australian Open draw. I would love to have the time to break down all the men's and women's matches, but alas, I have other things to do, like sleeping, so here is the actual website for you to dissect at your own pace.

Roddick vs. Safin!!

I think I'm the only one in America that wants Safin to tool Roddick tonight. I was talking to a couple of my friends tonight and they were pulling for Andy because he's American. I'm going for Safin because he is just too bad ass to not like. I am TiVoing the match tonight and I will try to watch it tomorrow night when I actually have longer than five seconds to think. But quickly, in honor of the most unpredictably bad assed tennis player in recent memory...


Also, has anyone else noticed that Nadal has changed his serve? It looks like he has modeled it after the Federer serve, which is to say it is now pretty sick. He was serving well before (got to the finals at Wimby, obviously), but now that the motion is all cleaned up who knows what will happen? Looking forward to it though.

My name is not Jamison Parker

That doesn't matter though. I live in Colorado and have tennis on the mind. I play for my college and think about it all the time. I want you to do the same thing. Or at least check this out and this and this too. Right now the Australian Open is underway and some pretty interesting stuff is happening. I'm at school now, but I promise, we'll talk later.